I have a buddy. He can be strange sometimes. We love him for it. I don’t want to give you his full name, because that would be rude. Let’s just call him Kranny.
You know who you are, Kranny.
To say that there are a wealth of ridiculous stories surrounding Kranny would be very true. It would also be ignoring the fact that there are a wealth of ridiculous stories surrounding me. I haven't told you very many, but I may have mentioned some. They're the kind of stories that we all have. Various adventures with friends where a certainly level of ridiculousness is bound to come into play. Kranny and I just seem to have more than our fair share.
Kranny and I went to high school together. I've actually known him quite a long time. But the story that's on my mind today is a specific one. It was 1986. It was a time when I was very active in my church youth group, which meant that I hung out with a lot of hot girls. And I was able to eat lunch with them in the cafeteria at school.
One day, Kranny sauntered by and caught my attention. He's a big guy. Shorter than me, but stocky with broad shoulders and a certain square-like shape to his features. He's constantly grinning. And he was grinning today as he motioned for me to come over to him.
I left the lunch table and went over to where he was standing. Just out of sight from the rest of the group. He greeted me with furtive glances, as he stared back at my friends at the table.
"Who's she?" He asked.
I looked to where he was pointing. A petite blonde. "That's Marci." I said. "She goes to my church."
"She's cute." Kranny was looking at me and grinning. There was a pause. Sometimes with Kranny I get that feeling you get with an overly affectionate and enthusiastic pet. The kind of pet who's always grinning and expecting something in return. I subdued the impulse to pet him.
"Yes." I confirmed. "What would you like me to do about it?"
"Introduce me."
"No problem." I relaxed a bit. I had been fearing that we were heading into the realm of intricate shenanigans. But he just wanted an introduction, and that I could handle. I turned to walk back to the table.
"But wait!" Kranny stopped me. "I don't want it to be weird."
This is where things started to unravel. Please understand that I was no better in high school about talking to girls than the average comic collecting geek. The church youth group taught me that I could be in the same room with girls and have conversations with them without the world ending. But I still had no idea how to approach one romantically. And I knew that Kranny had in the past. So I was kind of looking forward to learning from him as I watching him handle the situation with Marci. I was crestfallen when I realized we would be taking the bumbling "Fred and Barney" route to solving the situation.
"Okay." I turned back to him. "What would you like to do?"
"Introduce me to the whole group." Kranny had already devised a plan.
"I can do that. No problem."
"Only don't use my real name." He continued.
I started to get a little confused. I was having trouble following his logic. Someday, I'll introduce you to Kranny and you can have trouble following his logic too. Then you'll know what it's like.
"Okaaaay. What name should I use?"
Kranny looked me square in the eye and said "Steve Austin".
...
"Steve Austin?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"You want to be introduced as the Six Million Dollar Man?" I asked.
"Not as the bionic dude!" Kranny laughed at my silliness. "But Steve Austin. I always liked that name and no one remembers that show anyway."
I'm fairly certain people remember that show. I'm sitting here in 2013 and I know for a FACT that people remember that show. In 1986, it certainly wasn't high on everyone's radar but all the guy friends I knew certainly remembered the show. We lived and breathed that show not even ten years ago.
But... Kranny knew girls better than I did. And she was a girl. And maybe girls didn't remember geeky stuff like favorite TV shows from childhood. Maybe this would work!
I acquiesced. We walked over to the table full of youth group friends and I introduced my pal, Steve Austin.
One of the male youth group members, Brian, slapped his face and shook his head in disbelief.
People muttered general niceties and proceeded to be weirded out. Our plan was not going so well. I started to worry that this incident would impact my general credibility. Kranny sat next to me, smiling and grinning and smiling and trying to make small talk with Marci. Marci picked at her salad and refused to look up at either of us.
I was beginning to think she saw through our carefully crafted ruse. Astonishingly enough. In Kranny's defense, Steve Austin did seem to hook up a lot on that show week after week. Still... maybe we should have gone with Evil Kneivel.
After Kranny was done failing at trying to chat up my friend. He said his goodbye and made his way off to class. Marci was more than a little annoyed with me. "What was that supposed to be, Chuck!?"
"Errrr.... well, my friend just wanted to meet you"
Marci stood up, gathered together her books and her purse, picked up her lunch tray and turned around. After two steps she whirled back at me:
"I KNOW who the stupid Bionic Man is, Chuck!"
She made her way off, leaving me feeling a little foolish at the table.
But, as foolish as I may have been in that moment, I do remember distinctly thinking that she was wrong about one thing. Steve Austin was the Six Million Dollar Man. Lindsey Wagner was the Bionic Woman. There was no 'Bionic Man'. Common mistake.
Later that day, Kranny asked me how it went. Can you guess what I told him?
Thanks,
DCD
Showing posts with label Six Million Dollar Man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Six Million Dollar Man. Show all posts
Friday, May 3, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Six Million Dollar Adulthood
Last Friday, I wrote about the Six Million Dollar Man and my childhood memories of the TV show. I threw in some thoughts comparing the ideas of watching TV shows together as a family in the seventies and watching them separately today. I fretted and hemmed and hawed about what effect this 'in house cultural difference' would have on the kids. But I neglected to tell you that there are some shows that we watch together with the kids. With ALL the kids. For instance...
...we watch the Six Million Dollar Man.
I'm sure none of you regular readers of this blog are surprised by this plot twist. But yes, I did acquire the complete series and I did take the pains to load them up on the Apple TV. So that any episode is readily available with a couple clicks of the beautiful silvery remote.
The kids and I have been watching the show on and off for years. We started it when Lorie was working at Best Buy in the evenings and we were on our own. These days when we watch an episode, it's together as a family and under Lorie's extreme protest. During any given episode, she can be found to be playing Sims or Jurassic Park on her iPad mini.
The kids love the show, of course. Alex is six now, which as I mentioned before was my age during the show's original heyday. So there's some symmetry here. When we first started watching the show, all three kids would play bionics. With youngest Alex calling it 'bionic Steve' or 'the six dollar man'. They would run in slow motion in the yard or in the hallway and fight each other, sometimes arguing over who was 'Good Steve' and who was 'Bad Steve' and who was mind controlled and who wasn't and even which arm was bionic and which one was normal. I laughed at Katie's reasoning of being a female version of Colonel Steve Austin. I didn't tell her about Jamie Summers until it happened on the show itself. I preferred to keep it a secret and watch things unfold for them as they had for me thirty-some years earlier.
Needless to say, the introduction of Jamie Summers was a big hit. And then the revelation that she had her own show was even more exciting.
It's been sort of a joy for me. And I think this particular feeling at it's root is universal for fathers. The need to share something with your kids that meant so much to you when you were young. With something like Star Wars, which is probably the biggest case of "I gotta share with my kids", our culture gets in the way. There are current day movies and cartoons and playground experiences that can dilute the link between father and son when sharing those characters. Same with Batman or Star Trek. But with something like Six Million Dollar Man or even Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, or Flash Gordon the pickings are so slim for modern day interpretations that the experience can be a controlled link.
However, sometimes that can backfire.
Our latest viewing happened a few days ago. We watching an episode called 'Nightmare in the Sky'. The original air date was September 26th, 1976, and it was from season four of the show. It guest starred popular character actor Dana Elcar. It also guest starred Farrah Fawcett herself in her second appearance on the show playing the character of Major Kelly Wood. A fellow pilot and semi-love interest for Steve.
Alex watched intently.
Katie was confused. Who was this big-haired woman? What do you mean they were married in real life? What about Jamie? What about Jamie Summers? GET THIS WOMAN AWAY FROM STEVE!!
Ashton was... Ashton was very much a teenager for the whole thing. While years ago he very much enjoyed the show, today he kept making derogatory comments under his breath and unhelpful side slanders. He commented on the special effects and the outfits. He didn't like Steve's cheesy little season four mustache. He made sure we were clear that he would rather watch Eureka, which is a modern day show that we do enjoy together. And I made sure he was clear that if he kept running his mouth I would throw him outside.
He did enjoy Farrah, though. That much was obvious. Some things are eternal.
As I'm setting up my new comic book sanctuary, I have very few things with the Six Million Dollar Man on them. An old Christmas record. And one beat-up toy with missing pieces, no outfit and busted bionic working mechanism. But he's in his old spaceship/bionic monitoring station. I had that when I was a kid. And now I have it again as an adult. Proudly displayed under glass.
Thanks,
DCD
...we watch the Six Million Dollar Man.
I'm sure none of you regular readers of this blog are surprised by this plot twist. But yes, I did acquire the complete series and I did take the pains to load them up on the Apple TV. So that any episode is readily available with a couple clicks of the beautiful silvery remote.
The kids and I have been watching the show on and off for years. We started it when Lorie was working at Best Buy in the evenings and we were on our own. These days when we watch an episode, it's together as a family and under Lorie's extreme protest. During any given episode, she can be found to be playing Sims or Jurassic Park on her iPad mini.
The kids love the show, of course. Alex is six now, which as I mentioned before was my age during the show's original heyday. So there's some symmetry here. When we first started watching the show, all three kids would play bionics. With youngest Alex calling it 'bionic Steve' or 'the six dollar man'. They would run in slow motion in the yard or in the hallway and fight each other, sometimes arguing over who was 'Good Steve' and who was 'Bad Steve' and who was mind controlled and who wasn't and even which arm was bionic and which one was normal. I laughed at Katie's reasoning of being a female version of Colonel Steve Austin. I didn't tell her about Jamie Summers until it happened on the show itself. I preferred to keep it a secret and watch things unfold for them as they had for me thirty-some years earlier.
Needless to say, the introduction of Jamie Summers was a big hit. And then the revelation that she had her own show was even more exciting.
It's been sort of a joy for me. And I think this particular feeling at it's root is universal for fathers. The need to share something with your kids that meant so much to you when you were young. With something like Star Wars, which is probably the biggest case of "I gotta share with my kids", our culture gets in the way. There are current day movies and cartoons and playground experiences that can dilute the link between father and son when sharing those characters. Same with Batman or Star Trek. But with something like Six Million Dollar Man or even Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, or Flash Gordon the pickings are so slim for modern day interpretations that the experience can be a controlled link.
However, sometimes that can backfire.
Our latest viewing happened a few days ago. We watching an episode called 'Nightmare in the Sky'. The original air date was September 26th, 1976, and it was from season four of the show. It guest starred popular character actor Dana Elcar. It also guest starred Farrah Fawcett herself in her second appearance on the show playing the character of Major Kelly Wood. A fellow pilot and semi-love interest for Steve.
Alex watched intently.
Katie was confused. Who was this big-haired woman? What do you mean they were married in real life? What about Jamie? What about Jamie Summers? GET THIS WOMAN AWAY FROM STEVE!!
Ashton was... Ashton was very much a teenager for the whole thing. While years ago he very much enjoyed the show, today he kept making derogatory comments under his breath and unhelpful side slanders. He commented on the special effects and the outfits. He didn't like Steve's cheesy little season four mustache. He made sure we were clear that he would rather watch Eureka, which is a modern day show that we do enjoy together. And I made sure he was clear that if he kept running his mouth I would throw him outside.
He did enjoy Farrah, though. That much was obvious. Some things are eternal.
As I'm setting up my new comic book sanctuary, I have very few things with the Six Million Dollar Man on them. An old Christmas record. And one beat-up toy with missing pieces, no outfit and busted bionic working mechanism. But he's in his old spaceship/bionic monitoring station. I had that when I was a kid. And now I have it again as an adult. Proudly displayed under glass.
Thanks,
DCD
Friday, February 15, 2013
Six Million Dollar Childhood
One of my many loves is the Six Million Dollar Man. I have many strong memories and passions that carried over from childhood. The squinty, open shirt, wide-collared Lee Majors portrayal of Col. Steve Austin seems to be particularly strong with me as an adult. I think one of the reasons is that I went a good portion of my life without the show or any version of it. Unlike Star Trek. So it's almost as if I'm rediscovering the show as an adult. And rediscovering how fond I was of the show in the mid-1970's.
The show started in January of 1974 and lasted until Spring of 1978. Which means that part of the show's allure for me is it's pre-Robyn-ness. My baby sister Robyn was born in November of 1977 when we lived in Plattsburgh, New York. So it's not actually the fact of being without Robyn, but it's the idea that this was the proto-Dill family that loved the show. The early childhood stages of living in Texas, and not having an infant sister to contend with. We watched the show as a family. I do remember that. And ever time Steve Austin would climb into a plane my mother would check with my father for Air Force accuracy.
His answer fell into two ranges: "yep" and "nope".
I remember being jaw-droppingly stunned at Steve's fight with mechanized monster Bigfoot. I remember the horror of Maskatron, when that villain removed his face and revealed the circuitry underneath I was just as shocked as the rest of America. I remember the excitement of the Bionic Woman. I added Jamie Summers to my harem of imaginary wives, along with Daphne and Black Canary. I remember knowing who Farrah Fawcett was because she was married to Lee Majors and not because she was one of Charlie's Angels. We weren't allowed to watch that show.
In the heyday of the Six Million Dollar Man TV show, I was around six to seven years old. One of the things that strikes me is that I'm positive we watched this show together, as a family. It was a prime time show that my parents felt comfortable watching with a six-year-old. Can you think of any prime time shows today that you would watch with a kid that young? Certainly there may be some, but I can't think of any. Even our favorite sitcoms are too racy and deal with themes just too adult for us to sit down and enjoy with our youngest son Alex. And now my three kids have this set of shows that they watch and enjoy that I think are primarily made by Nickelodeon or Disney TV. "Good Luck Charlie", "Hannah Montanna", "Shake it Up", "Drake and Josh", and "Wizards of Waverly Place". I've seen a few episodes just so I can know what the kids are watching. But Lorie and I do not sit down and watch these shows with our kids as family time.
Our cultures are different. Between the enabling technology and the show content, our TV influences are completely different. Two or more separate sets of developmental culture in the same house. How will that effect us differently than the culture I experienced as a kid?
To my foggy childhood memory, EVERYONE was obsessed with the show back then. All my school friends, my family, and certainly the approved licensed merchandise makers. I didn't have the Six Million Dollar Man lunch box. But I DID have the Viewmaster reels and several records for my tiny toy record player. I remember clearly the evening when we went to the toy store to get me the Six Million Dollar Man action figure. I played with that thing CONSTANTLY. I had that figure before I had any of my super-hero or Star Trek Mego dolls. It was just Steve Austin and GI Joe.
The best thing about loving the Six Million Dollar Man wasn't the comics or the records or the action figures... it was by far the school yard play.
We had entire afternoons where everyone was bionic. Everyone was running in slow motion, wrestling off giant Northwestern Sasquatch space creatures, slow motion fist fights, slow motion fake jumps, slow motion 'looking far across the playground'. And the sound effects! Everyone was going 'Dah nuh nuh nuh nuh' under their breath when they weren't humming the theme song.
The only drawback to playing Steve Austin was that you couldn't incorporate the Wonder Woman twirl-change to go from being ordinary mortal to super-powered altruistic knight. Heaven help you if you were caught doing the WW spin-change on the playground.
It felt like a shared culture. It continues to feel like a shared culture. Mention the show to anyone over forty and you'll see the look of recognition light up their face. And when I slow-motion run past my bosses open office door going "Dah nuh nuh nuh nuh", the light chuckle lets me know she knows exactly what foolishness I'm up to.
Now if I could only lift this car with one arm...
Thanks,
DCD
The show started in January of 1974 and lasted until Spring of 1978. Which means that part of the show's allure for me is it's pre-Robyn-ness. My baby sister Robyn was born in November of 1977 when we lived in Plattsburgh, New York. So it's not actually the fact of being without Robyn, but it's the idea that this was the proto-Dill family that loved the show. The early childhood stages of living in Texas, and not having an infant sister to contend with. We watched the show as a family. I do remember that. And ever time Steve Austin would climb into a plane my mother would check with my father for Air Force accuracy.
His answer fell into two ranges: "yep" and "nope".
I remember being jaw-droppingly stunned at Steve's fight with mechanized monster Bigfoot. I remember the horror of Maskatron, when that villain removed his face and revealed the circuitry underneath I was just as shocked as the rest of America. I remember the excitement of the Bionic Woman. I added Jamie Summers to my harem of imaginary wives, along with Daphne and Black Canary. I remember knowing who Farrah Fawcett was because she was married to Lee Majors and not because she was one of Charlie's Angels. We weren't allowed to watch that show.
In the heyday of the Six Million Dollar Man TV show, I was around six to seven years old. One of the things that strikes me is that I'm positive we watched this show together, as a family. It was a prime time show that my parents felt comfortable watching with a six-year-old. Can you think of any prime time shows today that you would watch with a kid that young? Certainly there may be some, but I can't think of any. Even our favorite sitcoms are too racy and deal with themes just too adult for us to sit down and enjoy with our youngest son Alex. And now my three kids have this set of shows that they watch and enjoy that I think are primarily made by Nickelodeon or Disney TV. "Good Luck Charlie", "Hannah Montanna", "Shake it Up", "Drake and Josh", and "Wizards of Waverly Place". I've seen a few episodes just so I can know what the kids are watching. But Lorie and I do not sit down and watch these shows with our kids as family time.
Our cultures are different. Between the enabling technology and the show content, our TV influences are completely different. Two or more separate sets of developmental culture in the same house. How will that effect us differently than the culture I experienced as a kid?
To my foggy childhood memory, EVERYONE was obsessed with the show back then. All my school friends, my family, and certainly the approved licensed merchandise makers. I didn't have the Six Million Dollar Man lunch box. But I DID have the Viewmaster reels and several records for my tiny toy record player. I remember clearly the evening when we went to the toy store to get me the Six Million Dollar Man action figure. I played with that thing CONSTANTLY. I had that figure before I had any of my super-hero or Star Trek Mego dolls. It was just Steve Austin and GI Joe.
The best thing about loving the Six Million Dollar Man wasn't the comics or the records or the action figures... it was by far the school yard play.
We had entire afternoons where everyone was bionic. Everyone was running in slow motion, wrestling off giant Northwestern Sasquatch space creatures, slow motion fist fights, slow motion fake jumps, slow motion 'looking far across the playground'. And the sound effects! Everyone was going 'Dah nuh nuh nuh nuh' under their breath when they weren't humming the theme song.
The only drawback to playing Steve Austin was that you couldn't incorporate the Wonder Woman twirl-change to go from being ordinary mortal to super-powered altruistic knight. Heaven help you if you were caught doing the WW spin-change on the playground.
It felt like a shared culture. It continues to feel like a shared culture. Mention the show to anyone over forty and you'll see the look of recognition light up their face. And when I slow-motion run past my bosses open office door going "Dah nuh nuh nuh nuh", the light chuckle lets me know she knows exactly what foolishness I'm up to.
Now if I could only lift this car with one arm...
Thanks,
DCD
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